Competition

This journal has really a lot to do with what I am learning about myself this year. It can be helpful, but sometimes depressing. I was told I have a problem...What is it?? Competing. Some people really really don't like to compete... Its not their way. For me, competing is where I show my best side. Whenever I try out for a choir, musical, art show, anything, I naturally do my best and have not failed at a tryout yet! That is great for me, but annoying to others. Like I mentioned in the journal before, I have been trying to lose weight again with LA weight loss (they are fantastic by the way!). Well, I was having difficulty keeping myself from eating extra fruits and fats... So the councilor suggested competing with my sister bethany (her and I are doing this weight thing together). So we would see who lost the most weight at the end of the week and that person would get a favor from the loser! It was a great idea, for me. I ate perfect that entire week and lost 2.5 pounds! How wonderful, bethany now owed me a favor, and I had lost! Everything I went to the fridge I told myself, bethany is going to lose more than you if you eat anything extra... So I didn't and it was easy that way. Then bethany gained and got upset. I comforted her, but Julia came in and they both started telling me how I was a bad person because I like to compete. So we stopped competing and I didn't lose... I couldn't motivate myself the same. It's the same with art. I enjoy it so much more when I am competing with someone at the same level as me! I know im not bad for competing but it stinks that apparently I hurt people when I do it.